some inspiration from Edwina Gateley

When I was in second grade, all of my classmates and I got all dressed up in cute little suits and white dresses one day ready for our First Communion.  There were plenty of complaints about uncomfortable ties and showings off of half inch heels, I'm sure. Probably tons of discussions about parties and gifts and dread of kisses from old aunts who smelled funny.  I don't remember any of it.  

When everyone was lining up to process into the Church, I (who was usually quick to do everything perfectly) was a ball of tears on my tiny little desk.  I just couldn't imagine how, even with all of our prep-work and activities completed in our Religion books, I could possibly be ready or worthy of receiving THE EUCHARIST.  Little ol me. The whole thing just seemed so overwhelmingly big.  And holy.  And scary.  And wonderful.  Luckily my eighth grade buddy from my Kindergarten days was there to calm me down some, and convince me to walk, tears still streaming, into the Church with my classmates. 

Even (especially?) at such a young age, I felt the awe of the holy.  I think that's what I loved about this reflection by Edwina Gateley.  I'm afraid that life, and my very work in the Church has sometimes distracted me from that deeper, primal pull.  

For example, this spiritual and reflective blog post was just interrupted by a call from the apartment complex saying that someone had rented the apartment I wanted out from under me. Stellar.

I need to read more reflections like this, and somehow reclaim my yearning for God.  Ideas?

When I was a small girl, I was fascinated by all things religious and holy. God, obvi­ously, fitted squarely into that category.  God lived (so they told me) in our huge, greystone cathedral, and there, indeed, he was to be found-hiding in a gold box sur­rounded by flowers, candles, and velvet curtains. I spent hours in the silence and the darkness of the huge cathedral-often all alone-just sitting, breathing, awed by a deep, intuitive awareness that I sat with God.

Little did I know, at such a tender age, that I was engaged in contemplative prayer. I was simply absorbed by a sense of divine presence. It has never really gone away. As I grew older, however, life became busy and demanding. I went to college, then to Af­rica as a lay missionary teacher, and later founded the Volunteer Missionary Movement. I didn't really have the time to sit in dark and holy places, wide-eyed by mystery. I was very busy about the business of saving the world.

But I didn't save the world. That has already been done. I am in a sense-like everyone else-trying to save myself, to become fully myself for God. My journey is coming full circle. Older, wiser, and deeper than in those earlier years when I sat in the cathedral, I now sit again, not in my cathedral but in myself. I "sit" wherever I find myself, for my cathedral is within me.

I know now that no matter how far we travel, how much we accomplish, how deeply we suffer, or how joyfully we dance, God is always with us in all of those things for the whole of our life's journey. That dark, silent, and mysterious place stays with us, housing the holy. Like the Lenten experience, there are no extra props. There is just the darkness and the emptiness and, at the very heart of all that the divine presence, the Holy One whom we seek, breathing, hidden within us, eternally loving and waiting.

Edwina Gateley

Gateley is the founder of the Volunteer Missionary Movement.

self-compassion

A very admirable person in my life has an often-used phrase that I am in the process of stealing/adopting: "...and that's ok."  Here's an example.  To describe Chuck Berry playing guitar at age 84, he said, "He didn't hit a single correct note...and that's ok."  I think it's kind of like giving ourselves permission to be human...something I need to practice.

I tend to be pretty darn hard on myself.  When something doesn't go just perfectly, I feel awful.  I constantly worrying about how other people are doing things better than I am: being more open and accessible to friends and kids, keeping a cleaner house, reaching more youth and families, eating more healthily, saving more money, training their dogs more successfully...the list goes on and on.  It can leave me feeling quite overwhelmed and inadequate.

As Bob McCarty describes it, I am a "Lone Ranger."  I feel like I have to do it all, by myself, all the time, perfectly.  And, when something does prove difficult for me, when I have bad days or when I'm just darn tired, I would rather push through, stay up all night, and forget to eat for two days, or give up, let the dog pee on the floor, and leave myself to be even more overwhelmed the next day, rather than even think of admitting that I am struggling, worn out, or might need a little help.

This isn't exactly healthy.

Now, obviously, I don't have all the answers; I'm still a work in progress, for sure.  For those of you who know me, you know that I often over-schedule, over-commit...and over-achieve, too.  But lately, I've really been working on it (with varying success), and here are some practices I've found helpful:

• When it's sunny outside, put off the dishes and play with the puppy.
• Sorting the laundry, doing the laundry, and folding the laundry are three separate to-do list items.
• Keep a "resume" of accomplishments that you are proud of.
• Have a glass of wine when you come home, because, damnit, you like wine. Or coffee.
• Sometimes, just picking up the dog poop off the floor can make the rest of the list seem a lot more achievable.

Reading through the NCCL newsletter, I found this link (click the picture below) to a self-compassion test.  As it mentions, we sometimes might need to be reminded to love ourselves as our neighbors instead of the other way around.  Just going through these questions was a nice reminder to cut myself some slack every now and again.  It takes all of two minutes and might spark some light bulbs in your head, as well.

As I am writing this, I can't help but think of everything else I should be doing, the work that I will pour over this week, that email I should have sent, and the laundry I left on the floor that a better person would have already done by now.  Obviously I still have a lot of work to do on my self-compassion...and that's ok.

i make a difference; what about you?

Are you sick of highly paid teachers?

With all this controversy about the education system going on right now, I found this startling and enlightening all at the same time.

Are You Sick of Highly Paid Teachers?
by Meredith Menden

Teachers' hefty salaries are driving up taxes, and they only work 9 or10 months a year! It's time we put things in perspective and pay them for what they do - babysit!  We can get that for less than minimum wage.

That's right. Let's give them $3.00 an hour and only the hours they worked; not any of that silly planning time, or any time they spend before or after school. That would be $19.50 a day (7:45 to 3:00 PM with 45 min. off for lunch and plan-- that equals 6 1/2 hours).

Each parent should pay $19.50 a day for these teachers to baby-sit their children. Now how many students do they teach in a day...maybe 30? So that's $19.50 x 30 = $585.00 a day.

However, remember they only work 180 days a year!!! I am not going to pay them for any vacations.
LET'S SEE....
That's $585 X 180= $105,300 per year. (Hold on! My calculator needs new batteries).

What about those special education teachers and the ones with Master's degrees? Well, we could pay them minimum wage ($7.75), and just to be fair, round it off to $8.00 an hour. That would be $8 X 6 1/2 hours X 30 children X 180 days = $280,800 per year.

Wait a minute -- there's something wrong here! There sure is!
The average teacher's salary
(nation wide) is $50,000. $50,000/180 days
= $277.77/per day/30 students=$9.25/6.5 hours = $1.42 per hour per student--a very inexpensive baby-sitter and they even EDUCATE your kids!) WHAT A DEAL!!!!

Make a teacher smile; repost this to show appreciation for all educators.

Interesting Assessment of Catholics by a Prominent Jewish Businessman

Sam Miller on Catholics
(with thanks to John Brockmeier for sharing this)

Excerpts of an article written by Sam Miller, prominent Cleveland Jewish businessman-- who is NOT a Catholic.

Why would newspapers carry on a vendetta on one of the most important institutions that we have today in the United States , namely the Catholic Church?

Do you know--the Catholic Church educates 2.6 million students everyday at the cost to that Church of 10 billion dollars, and a savings on the other hand to the American taxpayer of 18 billion dollars. The graduates go on to graduate studies at the rate of 92%.

The Church has 230 colleges and universities in the U.S. with an enrollment of 700,000 students.

The Catholic Church has a non-profit hospital system of 637 hospitals, which account for hospital treatment of 1 out of every 5 people--not just Catholics--in the United States today

But the press is vindictive and trying to totally denigrate in every way the Catholic Church in this country. They have blamed the disease of pedophilia on the Catholic Church, which is as irresponsible as blaming adultery on the institution of marriage.

Let me give you some figures that Catholics should know and remember. For example, 12% of the 300 Protestant clergy surveyed admitted to sexual intercourse with a parishioner; 38% acknowledged other inappropriate sexual contact in a study by the United Methodist Church, 41.8% of clergy women reported unwanted sexual behavior; 17% of laywomen have been sexually harassed.
Meanwhile, 1.7% of the Catholic clergy has been found guilty of pedophilia. 10% of the Protestant ministers have been found guilty of pedophilia. This is not a Catholic Problem.

A study of American priests showed that most are happy in the priesthood and find it even better than they had expected, and that most, if given the choice, would choose to be priests again in face of all this obnoxious PR the church has been receiving.

The Catholic Church is bleeding from self-inflicted wounds. The agony that Catholics have felt and suffered is not necessarily the fault of the Church. You have been hurt by a small number of wayward priests that have probably been weeded out by now.

Walk with your shoulders high and you head higher. Be a proud member of the most important non-governmental agency in the United States. Then remember what Jeremiah said: 'Stand by the roads, and look and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is and walk in it, and find rest for your souls'. Be proud to speak up for your faith with pride and reverence and learn what your Church does for all other religions.

Be proud that you're a Catholic.

stop the pity. unlock the potential.

The Top Ten Reasons It Sucks to be Single in the Church

a preview of my article for the NCYAMA newsletter:

Being single, my only hope for some chocolates for Valentine’s Day is a generous second grader.  But a lack of sugary goodness is, by far, the least of my concerns; it seems that everyone at my church has a heightened awareness of my single-ness, and wants to cure this plague cast upon me.  While I’m sure my fellow parishioners mean well, there’s a chance this match maker syndrome will lead to my demise—days later I’ll be found rocking on a kneeler, tearing apart the hymnal page by page.   Rather than succumb to this pressure, I have comprised a top ten list of the reasons it sucks to be single in the Church…let’s commiserate.

10. Everyone has an awkward nephew that they are just certain you’ll hit it off with.  They forget to mention that said nephew is completely incapable of holding an intelligible conversation, and picks his nose.

9. The president of Parish Council inconspicuously moves to sit next to you after communion to rather conspicuously point out the new guy in the back row who looks about your age.  He could be the one, you know.

8. “You don’t have to pick up your kids from school, so you can just stay for the meeting tonight, right?  And come in on Saturday?”

7. At least 50% of the young adults you try to minister to have asked you out.

6. “I work for the Church,” isn’t a good pick up line.

5. Whether people are glad you’re “taking your time,” or they tell you “not to worry because you’ll find someone great soon,” being single is all they ask you about.

4. No, I don’t plan on becoming a nun, but thanks for asking. Again.

3. That old couple who always sits in the front row asks if you’d like to join them for brunch...out of pity.

2. When you go out on a date with someone, coworkers start hinting about marriage prep and asking if they should mark their calendars.

1. You inevitably run into the parish gossip on your first date, who starts countless rumors. See number 2.

After this awful awful play by play of last weekend, I am tempted to post a nice little article about dating—something light and fluffy and maybe a link to catholicmatch.com.  However, I am a young woman who has far more to her life than dating, so, instead, I thought I’d focus on me a little bit and share this sweet video.  One of five kids, I was not used to being alone, and it scared the hell out of me when I first moved out of the house.  But I’m starting to like my hanging-out-with-me time; it even helps me deal with aunts of nose-picking nephews.  Sometimes.